Friday, October 8, 2010

Is This Not Mothering?

I may not be an actual mother, but sometimes I get weary of mothering anyway. I take my husband, who has Alzheimer's Disease, to the doctor and find myself explaining where we're going and why and assuring him that the doctor will not hurt him. He will not give him any shots. As we walk, I hold his hand, not out of affection the way it used to be, but to keep him from getting lost or falling down. In the doctor's office, I speak for him because he's not good with words anymore. The doctor speaks mostly to me because my husband does not understand what he's saying. When it's over, I wait while he goes to the bathroom, then treat him to a hamburger. Is this not mothering?

Likewise, when I come home from a trip, I need to pick up my dog at the kennel. First, I wash her blankets and straighten out her bed. I make sure I have enough food and make an appointment with the vet for her shots. Then I go get her. She runs out of her cage, gives me a big wet kiss and jumps into the car. All the way home, she's trying to get my attention. Pet me, love me, entertain me. Is this not mothering?

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I recently read about a new website for Jewish women who are childless. It's called Yerusha.com. Take a look. Even if you're not Jewish, you may find something helpful.

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There's a great article, "Childless by (100% Regret-Free) Choice," by Nanette Varian on the MORE magazine site. Granted, we might argue that we're not childless by choice, but you'll still find a lot of interesting information about how our lives are different, about attitudes toward childless women, about books to read, and more.

2 comments:

mommymystic said...

Sue, thanks for your comment on my blog. As I mentioned there, although I do have children, I think it is so important that being childless become a more supported choice in society, especially for women. And for women who find themselves childless by circumstance to be supported in finding all the ways in which this creates other opportunities in their lives. I've written about this a bit from a metaphysical energetic perspective too in my 2nd chakra series, which you might find interesting. The 2nd chakra is linked to both procreation and artistic creation, and to mothering of all types. And there are many different ways to channel it - often women who do not express their creativity and mothering energies through children do so in even more brilliance through other activities...

Elena said...

i just wish i knew what to do/where to employ my "mothering energies" *sigh*