Thursday, June 18, 2009

You're on your own

It has been almost a month since I blogged here, so I'm doing it twice today. I have been in the midst of finding a new place for my husband, who has Alzheimer's. The home where he had been staying was not working out. He was so miserable he tried to run away. So now, with help from a great organization called A Place for Mom, I have moved him to Timberwood Court in Albany Oregon. It's a lot farther from home, but a much better place.

What does this have to do with childlessness? Mainly that I wouldn't have been doing all this alone if I had children or if his children really understood how hard this is. There's the physical part of it: Fred's room came unfurnished, so I had to buy furniture and get it to Albany. I carried a carload of stuff when we moved and last week, I single-handledly shoved two heavy easy chairs into the back of the car and drove them over. This week I'm getting a phone hooked up. I'm dealing with insurance and doctors and staggering bills. Perhaps worst is the strain of making all these decisions on my own. Fred can't help anymore, and no one else is here.

If you're considering a marriage without children, especially to a much older man, think about the possibility that he will get sick and suddenly you'll be handling everything alone.

2 comments:

Cathy Crandall (aka cescoutdoors) said...

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. You seem to be able to reach out in this blog. Is there no one who could help you? Do you belong to any religious or charitable organizations? As happy as you are to help others (with your blogs and I know about Candace as well), just think, there may be others who would get just as much joy in taking a least some of the load from you.

Suelick said...

Cathy,
I do have some good friends from church and other groups. It's hard to reach out sometimes, but I know I need to do that. Thank you for caring.