Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dogs too much for me?

I know this is not about babies; it's about dogs. Again. If I had children who turned big and wild right as I was becoming a single parent, I don't know how I would handle them. They might end up in foster care. Then again, I wouldn't be in my 50s, so I might have the energy to parent them properly. Perhaps if I had had children, I wouldn't have felt so driven to raise puppies. Anyway, that ship has sailed.

With my husband in a care home and his doctor confirming yesterday that he needs to stay there, I'm on my own. I'm grieving and trying to adjust to big changes in my life. I know I'm not thinking straight, but for the first time, I'm wondering if I should find another home for Annie and Chico. The dogs were in the kennel last night and this morning, and it was so peaceful.

When I went to pick them up, I was asked not to bring Chico back. He's too aggressive toward other dogs. I don't see him that way, but he and Annie are very rough with each other, clacking their teeth, throwing each other around, banging into the door, the furniture, my knees. I need to acknowledge their half pit bull-cousin ancestry. They love me and would never hurt me on purpose, but I can't handle them both at the same time. Chico can pull me right off my feet. I wish I'd had these thoughts before I approved a $2,000 fence and the posts were cemented in. I love my dogs. They're only a year old, and they will calm down, I hope, but maybe they're too much for me.

Of course I didn't expect them to get so big, and I didn't expect to be alone at this point.

Even as I pet these big dogs and hug them to me for comfort, they exhaust me. I wonder if I should give them away. I don't want to separate them. They're siblings who have always been together. Maybe the new fence, going up tomorrow, will make life manageable. But are they worth the effort now that my life has changed so dramatically? My father says I should get rid of them. He may be right.

Then again, he doesn't like my stepchildren either.

6 comments:

Kate B said...

Have you tried working with a dog trainer? We have a pit mix that was aggressive when on a leash and dominant in the house with us. After working with a trainer, he's a completely different dog. It's worth a shot. Dogs are a lot of work though. I tell my husband all the time that this is our last one - that if we are not going to be able to have kids, then I want the benefits of being childless.

Anonymous said...

THEY WILL CALM DOWN WITH AGE. A TRAINER WOULD BE GOOD IDEA. I THINK THE FENCE WILL HELP TOO. I THINK YOU WOULD MISS THEM MORE THAN YOU THINK IF YOU GOT RID OF THEM.

Sue Fagalde Lick said...

Okay, you guys,I had a bad day, but I knew when I looked into those bully faces that night that I couldn't give my babies up.

The fence is already helping, although I need to do something about the mud they're bringing in. It's all over me and my floors. It's my chance to be creative with stepping stones or concrete in the areas where the sun never hits and it never gets dry.

We have done training, and it was helpful. I'm thinking maybe the big guy and I could benefit from another run through the class.

Are these dogs too big and too much for one busy person? Yes. Do I wish I had only gotten one dog? Yes indeed. Did I expect them to get this big? Heck no. But we're a family now, and you're right, Anonymous, I would miss them terribly. I foresee a time in the future when they will be great friends to me and to each other without endangering the furniture. :-)

Anonymous said...

ALSO THINK OF THE PROTECTION OF HAVE TWO BIG DOGS IN YOUR HOME NOW THAT YOU LIVE ALONE. THEY WILL HELP YOU FEEL SAFE.

The Stepson said...

Sorry to hear your Dad doesn't like your stepkids... Considering he really doesn't even know me, I'm still wondering what I ever did to offend him.

Sue Fagalde Lick said...

Is this Ted or Michael?
My father doesn't approve of anyone who doesn't live life according to his standards. That includes me and most other people. So let it go. I like you and that's what counts.