tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.comments2023-07-21T06:19:27.125-07:00Childless by MarriageSue Fagalde Lickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comBlogger2776125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-90359155793172058972016-09-23T19:09:36.799-07:002016-09-23T19:09:36.799-07:00Anon Sept. 23, I'm sorry you're going thro...Anon Sept. 23, I'm sorry you're going through this. People do change. I hope your husband's drunken reaction doesn't last long, and you can both reach some peace on this issue. Something I have come to accept is that it was my responsibility, not my husband's, that I don't have kids. And it will not be yours if you and your husband stay together and never have children. He knew how you felt from the beginning, and it's his responsibility to decide what he's going to do about it. If he's going to be a butthead about it forever, you have the option of kicking him out. None of this is good, but it's reality. <br /><br />Anon, I would really appreciate it if you could also comment at the blog's new location so more people can read it. As listed above, it's http://www.childlessbymarriageblog.com. You can find the post by date or title using the search function. Thanks.<br />Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-57470092258247093442016-09-23T17:01:47.899-07:002016-09-23T17:01:47.899-07:00My husband has changed his mind and now wants kids...My husband has changed his mind and now wants kids very badly. Listening to him talk, I believe that he will not be happy if he does not have children. I worry that as more and more people around us have kids, or second and third kids, his unhappiness will grow. One day his younger brother will have kids. One day other people will have grand kids. He will feel renewed pain each time. i am just not sure if we can actually have a healthy happy relationship when he feels so strongly. <br /><br />Background info is that when we were dating and engaged we had multiple conversations and neither of us wanted kids. I was relieved to find someone that also didn't want kids. I have health issues that make pregnancy risky for both me and a potential baby - not that this makes pregnancy impossible, but since I don't have the desire, the risks involved are not worth it to me. I have tried to change my mind for him, but my true gut instinct is that I really don't think having kids is the right thing for me. <br /><br />I do feel very bad for my husband, and I have to remind myself that I was upfront with him about everything. The sad truth is that people change. It's just how it is and I guess that's okay. He's allowed to change his mind, and I'm allowed to not change my mind. We have done a few sessions of marriage counseling already about this issue, with probably several more to go before we sort this all out.<br /><br />I am 35 and he is 34. At this age I can picture him easily finding the life he is looking for, and that he would be very happy. Reading the stories on this blog show me that if he tries to bury his desires in order to stay with me, they will resurface eventually and possibly when it is too late or more difficult for him to find what he is looking for. I am very scared of being responsible for that. <br /><br />In the meantime he is coping with his disappointment in life by drinking and partying. He has changed from a "happy drunk" to a loud, obnoxious, offensive person who is almost always the most drunk person at any get together. He says he might as well have fun if he doesn't get to have kids. I hate the person he becomes now when he is drinking. If staying together means this is the person he will be, then I imagine I won't be a very happy person either.<br /><br />So right now I can't see a compromise for us, and I have been losing sleep and crying a lot.<br /><br />I wanted to share our story, because other people's stories have helped me understand what my husband has been going through, and what pain might lie ahead for us if we decide to stay together. <br /><br />Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories, and thank you to Sue for starting this conversation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-70877163665491316452016-09-17T14:17:56.743-07:002016-09-17T14:17:56.743-07:00Idalless,
To clarify, you are referring to the Ano...Idalless,<br />To clarify, you are referring to the Anonymous comment from July 20, 2015. You're right, we all have different ideas about what life should be, and we are entitled to state them as we wish.<br />Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-14664304519696318842016-09-17T14:12:44.575-07:002016-09-17T14:12:44.575-07:00To Anonymous at 4:26 AM and Sue Fagalde Lick:
I f...To Anonymous at 4:26 AM and Sue Fagalde Lick:<br /><br />I find the comments of Anonymous absolutely condescending and rude. You try to speak for everyone when you suggest that no freedom or travel or career could be as fulfilling as raising a family. You completely fail to see the possibility that some people do not share your view and/or are not suited to raising a family. Some people find fulfillment through volunteer work or a career instead of through raising a family. Your comments are insulting to those people.<br /><br />Those fears of which you speak are not "irrational and exaggerated." They are rational in a world where it is becoming more expensive to raise a child and terrorism is prevalent. There is no "overthinking" when it comes to bringing another life into the world and assuming the responsibilities of feeding, educating, and providing shelter for another human being. Children are abused and left at shelters or on the streets or in hospitals because their parents didn't want to, or couldn't, adapt "to the joy of building and raising a family."<br /><br /> Don't assume your life choices are right for everyone. Life is not a one size fits all deal.ldallesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04767525476915411809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-81920131867618192342016-09-16T18:24:55.695-07:002016-09-16T18:24:55.695-07:00Anonymous, you sound just like me back a few years...Anonymous, you sound just like me back a few years ago, except for the ex having another child. I feel your pain. Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-87552337356866514122016-09-16T14:14:01.180-07:002016-09-16T14:14:01.180-07:00I am 36 years old and have wanted children all of ...I am 36 years old and have wanted children all of my life. My first husband told me after the fact that he did not want children. We divorced and I helped my parents raise my stepsister's three children from infancy. But i do not have guardianship and they do not live with me. Now i am with an amazing man, the most loving generous man I've ever met...but he has three children from a previous marriage, has had a vasectomy, and does not want more. It hurts to be surrounded by other people's children, knowing none of them will ever be yours, and you will never have one of your own. And to add to the pain, his ex just had a baby a few days ago with her new partner, and that's all the kids talk about now.<br />I frequently cry when no one is looking, silently aching for what I'll never have, knowing I'll never be a mother....but i am still unable to give up that small hope. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-75661980860056273052016-09-16T14:12:41.356-07:002016-09-16T14:12:41.356-07:00I am 36 years old and have wanted children all of ...I am 36 years old and have wanted children all of my life. My first husband told me after the fact that he did not want children. We divorced and I helped my parents raise my stepsister's three children from infancy. But i do not have guardianship and they do not live with me. Now i am with an amazing man, the most loving generous man I've ever met...but he has three children from a previous marriage, has had a vasectomy, and does not want more. It hurts to be surrounded by other people's children, knowing none of them will ever be yours, and you will never have one of your own. And to add to the pain, his ex just had a baby a few days ago with her new partner, and that's all the kids talk about now.<br />I frequently cry when no one is looking, silently aching for what I'll never have, knowing I'll never be a mother....but i am still unable to give up that small hope. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-10502564692731059732016-09-16T02:44:43.293-07:002016-09-16T02:44:43.293-07:00I'd say let him go. When men get the urge to ...I'd say let him go. When men get the urge to sire their own<br />children, their own DNA, flesh and blood, very little if anything<br />can or will change their mind. However, you did have the conversation <br />with him about children with you. At the time he was fine and accepted it.<br />People do change and not always in the way we'd like or hope. I'm going<br />through the same thing. My wife and I were older when we married. I was <br />42 and she was 45. We agreed not to have children because of our age. Mostly I<br />accepted our decision. Until my youngest stepson and his wife had children.<br />Two boys. I care for them, but I don't unconditionally love them. They aren't mine nor my DNA. I have the chance to leave for a beautiful young woman and have kids.<br />But the decision is harder than I though. Either was, someone will be hurt.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11061723614764468723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-62391995687685272472016-09-15T20:13:45.837-07:002016-09-15T20:13:45.837-07:00I'm so sorry. We hear more often from the pers...I'm so sorry. We hear more often from the person who wants kids, but it has to hurt just as bad to be on the other side. You both need to think about it for a while before doing anything drastic. I hope you can work it out.Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-8081502257852147932016-09-15T17:32:08.101-07:002016-09-15T17:32:08.101-07:00Hello, I remarried after 14 year with my first hus...Hello, I remarried after 14 year with my first husband. I had 3 girls with him, after my divorce I faced that I would never find someone to love me and my girls. I was wrong i did, from the beginning I mentioned I couldn't have any more children. Thinking my first marriage was going to last I cut and burn my tubes. This man didn't care, our relationship got stronger and marriage came before I said yes. I reminded him, and he said my girls were enough. Well, it's been ten years and barely mid year I noticed a change. Affection was less, I finally got the nerve to ask what was the problem. He wants kids of his own. The heart break I felt, when he said that, I would like to be happy he said . I want to feel what others do. Holding my own in the delivery room. Seeing my blood line gown and experience it. I told him do you love me, he said yes. I don't know if I will find someone and I willing to take that chance. Do u want a divorce, I don't want to hurt u. What does someone say. My heart dropped. I struggling do I let him go, or do I fight for my marriage. There's many marriages that work will mine be one if I fight. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-52088895118021766142016-09-13T08:51:32.142-07:002016-09-13T08:51:32.142-07:00Anonymous, don't give in. If he won't comm...Anonymous, don't give in. If he won't commit, find someone else. I know you love him, but you're giving everything and he's giving nothing.Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-66275998952472284122016-09-13T08:51:26.352-07:002016-09-13T08:51:26.352-07:00Anonymous, don't give in. If he won't comm...Anonymous, don't give in. If he won't commit, find someone else. I know you love him, but you're giving everything and he's giving nothing.Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-69638677377594038362016-09-12T20:15:37.642-07:002016-09-12T20:15:37.642-07:00I'm struggling a lot recently. I've been i...I'm struggling a lot recently. I've been in a relationship with a man who has two children of primary school age. I am in my late twenties and he is early thirties. I have a great relationship with his children on a friendship level. To be honest, I often find myself thinking how I wouldn't bring them up in certain ways, but feel it isn't my business, and I am appreciative they have all let me in to their live. My partner is still technically married to the mother of his children but they are separated and she has been with her partner longer than I have been with my bf (we've been together for 3 years). He is lovely and we get on so well but to be honest he acts like a teenager half the time and that'd only half the problem...<br />The main issue is that he had a vasectomy after his second child was born and meanwhile I really want children. I know it seems silly that I am with someone that can't have children when I want them but what can I say - priorities change as you get older and three years ago I didn't feel so strongly about the situation. <br />I love my boyfriend to pieces and having had shitty boyfriends in the past, I really appreciate how much he cares for me. However I have asked whether he will get divorced numerous times and he doesn't really seem bothered as he doesn't particularly value marriage. He often says he will get married if I want to and he will get the vasectomy reversal but it all seems on the condition that I move out with him. That makes me feel kind of trapped into moving in with him without any secure future of children (all the while being step mum to his kids) I also don't really know how we will afford the reversal when we struggle enough as it is! (bearing in mind he has two kids to provide for already) I often feel he would be happy with me just being in his life and paying half the rent/looking after his children but what about my needs? I'm scared to brihng it up with him as everytime we discuss it it turns into an argument so I just avoid it now....but whilst I watch another friend buy a house with their bf, get married, have children....I mourn for my future :'( I have no doubt he loves me but I don't know if love is enough. I want marriage and a big family. Sometimes I feel maybe I'm being unrealistic and unfair but then I remember he technically has everything that I want and then I feel slightly jealous :S I feel if I settled I would always feel like the outsider in his life. I am also very close to my family and have always wanted to give my parents grandchildren. As it stands they find it hard to accept my significant other as married, with children and a vasectomy.<br />I'm tearing my hair out with worry at the moment - I don't want to waste my prime years and miss the boat on having children but I also don't want to give up on someone who I love as I am a very loyal person.<br />Any advice would be very much appreciated! xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-43599167109687718682016-09-12T08:28:40.614-07:002016-09-12T08:28:40.614-07:00Wow, so many stories of heartache, resentment and ...Wow, so many stories of heartache, resentment and regret. I don't think my story is much different, but I am hoping for some peace and comfort through writing and sharing it.<br /><br />I've been married to my husband for about 2 years now (I'm now 34, he is 33). I met him on the tail end of a failed marriage with his ex wife, with whom he had 2 young girls (2 and 3). He had a vasectomy after his second daughter because his marriage was struggling and he didn't want anymore children. <br /><br />When our relationship got serious, we discussed me wanting children of my own. He said he would never take that away from me, and would be supportive and willing to get a reversal if that's what I wanted. What a relief! I envisioned a beautiful marriage with the man I love, and we would build a family of our own. <br /><br />Here we are a couple of years later, and it turns out (long story short) the vasectomy reversal is not ideal and will most likely not be successful. We have better odds of conception with IVF. So, IVF joined the discussion and things changed quickly. Although he repeatedly tells me if children are my dream, then he will do it since he does not want to the reason I don't get to be a mom. This is great, but even though he says he is willing, his actions, words and outlook are full of resistance. I feel like he is 'scared' of everything -- money, the IVF not working, me resenting him, giving up on his girls because he chose to have a family with me, and lifestyle change. He 'had that life' (with kids and his ex) and it didn't work. He now has 'this life' with me and loves it. He is scared a child will change everything back. Coupled with the fact that he already has kids and the desire is not there as it is with me.<br /><br />Admittedly, I am very happy with our life now. However, I want more. I want to build a family with the man I love. I have his support - but do I really??? I don't want to be an accessory to someone's family. We do not have full custody of his girls - they are very close to their mom and I'm happy they have her. I love them very much but at the end of the day, I am just a stepmom. I feel like everyone has a 'family' and I don't. I lose. I keep trying to make the sacrifice for him and be ok with no kids of my own - because I think I *could be* - but I'm not ready or willing to just walk away from even trying. I am terrified of the anger and resentment.<br /><br />At the end of the day, I have someone who is willing to give me what I want. And he has told me that all he wants is ME - with or without kids - he just wants a life with me. Is that enough support even though I know he wouldn't choose another child if it weren't for me??? Am I being too picky to want it all?? Please help!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-3810573905299060432016-09-09T11:50:16.126-07:002016-09-09T11:50:16.126-07:00Not true that over 50s can't adopt. My next do...Not true that over 50s can't adopt. My next door neighbor adopted a 4 yr old girl from China at age 54. Keep looking into different agencies...just because one doesn't does not mean that another won't. Good luck to you all.Abigailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11921667737834401681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-2722677940549258812016-08-25T16:00:05.766-07:002016-08-25T16:00:05.766-07:00I found this blog by way of googling, "husban...I found this blog by way of googling, "husband died stepchildren no longer see me".<br /><br />I was curious if this was common, as I am the adult stepchild of my fathers wife. I've seen adult children end contact with their fathers for ending the relationship with their mother and moving on in marriage with another women. I never understood why someone could hold animosity towards the step parent in these conditions.<br /><br />My situation is much different. My dad was an attorney who was a high functioning alcoholic. He was having an affair with a women 16 years younger than he was who was also an alcoholic. Her life changed dramatically after she married my dad. As far as I'm concerned their relationship was one of lust on my dads part and one of financial security on hers. She came into the relationship with a respect me or fear me attitude. All she does is badmouth him now a days. When my dad is no longer in the picture (complicated heart problems brought about by his alcoholism), neither will I, but I will likely remain in contact with the child they had together.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-25147952903768656522016-08-24T17:50:55.906-07:002016-08-24T17:50:55.906-07:00Hello,
I'm 31 DH 37.
DH suffered from a testic...Hello,<br />I'm 31 DH 37.<br />DH suffered from a testicular torsion at the age of 14, had to have one testicle removed. His dr at the time told him he should not suffer from any complications and should lead a fertile life.<br />Fast forward 1 year ago we find out he has NOA (zero sperm) not 100% sure if the 2 were related or if it was a coincidence.<br />We had been married 2 years when we found this out. We were heartbroken. And I fell into a terrible depression. <br />I feel like a terrible person because as much as I love him I also hold a lot of resentment towards him as well. I look at him as less of a man. I know this is wrong of me, but yet I can't seem to break the resentful feelings I have towards him.<br />We have and still continue therapy to help us cope.<br />I hope one day we can come to terms with the thought of using donor sperm or adoption.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-83678398708468427482016-08-22T08:11:23.431-07:002016-08-22T08:11:23.431-07:00Hi Lynn. I'm sorry for your pain, but you are ...Hi Lynn. I'm sorry for your pain, but you are so lucky to have found each other. If he says he's okay with not having more children, believe him and just enjoy being together. You can't change things anyway.Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-72266031864887561242016-08-21T20:16:29.767-07:002016-08-21T20:16:29.767-07:00Dear Sue, I've been remarried for 6 years, I h...Dear Sue, I've been remarried for 6 years, I have wanted a child with my husband so bad. I know its too late because I'm too old. We are both blessed, I have two grown kids, and he had two as well. They are 14 and 11, they are in S.Africa with their mom, half brother, and stepdad. I hate that my husband misses them, but I know I did not make him come here , and marry me.They communicate, and we want to see them. And we get along pretty well with his ex. He came here to do better in life.He has a brother in another state.I just don't know if I can ever be at peace though, because I feel so guilty for having a tubal ligation at 26, my stepmom had suggested it after my daughter was born because, my ex and I had struggled financially. I also was high risk with having early contractions.I had felt like that is what I should do, years later, I regret with all my heart because , I met my husband and love him so much and wish for that connection with us.He had kinda wished in the beginning, but he says to me he doesn't worry about having any more kids. It just hurts so bad. I don't know, I wish I would of been fixed. Thank you Sue, please respond. Sincerely, Lynn.<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-85309712600248208052016-08-20T18:42:19.009-07:002016-08-20T18:42:19.009-07:00Anonymous, I'm so sorry this has happened to y...Anonymous, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You are very brave to start over at this point. I hope you find what you're looking for. Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-84173149631910646282016-08-20T17:09:40.234-07:002016-08-20T17:09:40.234-07:00As I read the comments. I realise there is somethi...As I read the comments. I realise there is something difficult i need to do - walk away from my relationship of 13 years. I'm 43 and my husband is 48. For the last 18 months we have tried to conceive however with the transition of his father into a nursing home and the hours worked in our jobs finding time to be intimate was few and far between - nowhere near enough to even have a chance at conception. When we first met hubby said he never wanted to marry again nor have children he had just been through a messy divorce and raised a step child with his ex.He did change he mind. However I married him knowing he didn't want children and I thought i was fine with it even though deep down inside i always wanted a child. 18 months ago he was the one who said he wanted a baby. I was over the moon. Due to my age i went and ensured all was fine at my end and to see if there were any medical issues etc. All well at my end. He has now told never ever wanted children and only wanted one to keep the relationship. He as the one who suggested a baby. I've told him i can longer be in the relationship if we don't want the same things in life and he keeps saying he is to old to have a baby. I told him it's over. I'm heartbroken that he changed his mind. I need to leave him now even if i don't find anyone else who has the same hopes and dreams at least when I'm older i can look back on my life and say i tried to find someone who wants the same. I don't know what my future holds but i don't want to be with someone for the rest of my life having regrets about not having a child and being resentful for it. I may never have that long desired child in my life but isn't it worth trying to find that happiness with someone who feels the same about children. It breaks my heart every time i see a mother and child as i think i will never have this if i stay in this relationship and I don't want to feel like that for the rest of my life. I know nothing is certain in this world. I would rather look back on my life when I'm older with no regrets and the thought of at least i gave it my best.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-68714021740971694752016-08-12T20:32:31.415-07:002016-08-12T20:32:31.415-07:00Re: anonymous 4?4/2016 and others in late 30's...Re: anonymous 4?4/2016 and others in late 30's especially approaching 40 yrs old with partners over 45 yrs old with vasectomies you are in the way to becoming both childless and loosing your partners, plus loosing out by your attitudes choosing misery, pointless rumination, envy etc..<br /><br />Your own chances of concieving and delivering a healthy unimpaired child are already very low, made extremely low by partners vasectomy that's far from recent.<br />Furthermore, in this situation the fertility treatments required will become extremely expensive, probably repeated and still probably fail.<br /><br />Were you likely to in the remote chance technically succeed there is a higher chance any child may end up with various suseptabilities wether from the start or even teens. Do some research to get these details.<br /><br />Even if you got to be the less likely success cases re a baby and healthy, your partners are the realistic ines re long term future of both if you having a child so late in life.<br /><br />The realistic cincerns are firstly the high energy requirments for raising any child in late age that your partners are extra aware of having done that.<br />Secondly the reality is that it's a very costly process at the minimum requiring lots if extra money for another 18 minimum years.These days a chap can't count on remaining at his maximal earning power up till 65-70 yrs of age. Most of these partners have still a decade of providing for remaining offspring and clearing any debts to be then ideally getting passably set up for retirement wether voluntary or caused by declines in health.<br /><br />Your not taking in that generally their divorcing put a dent in their assets, but by having their first batch of kids in the normal age group they are more or less on track to finish their initial responability to kids they had and be OK for their next stage.It would be insanity to do otherwise.<br /><br />I doubt any of these chaps thought that you never got around to procreating earlier women wouldn't wake up to this reality orwould really be hung up on having a baby if not having done so earlier in life.More a temp fantasy of what could have been re new in love hormones and had you met years earlier.IT'S NOT HIS FAULT YOU NEVER GOT AROUND TO HAVING A KID WHEN YOUNGER, NOT HIS RESPONSABILITY TO MAKE UP TO YOU WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON BEFORE, BECAUSE IT CAN'T BE MADE UP, IT'S JUST TOO DARN LATE!<br /><br />Yes, old couples who are BOTH childless can give the late fertility stuff a burl.That's because both may have plenty of assests by not having or still having to pay for kids and even have enough money stashed away for tratments, child raising, future costs and retirement.<br /><br />If you can't get that through your brain and emotions, do everyone a favour and go promptly so the chap can move in to another who can be happy with what he has to offer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-43782223120551111822016-08-10T08:16:47.821-07:002016-08-10T08:16:47.821-07:00Sandy, I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you ...Sandy, I am so sorry this happened to you. Do you need to stay with him?Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-54968900569938912742016-08-10T03:54:15.890-07:002016-08-10T03:54:15.890-07:00Thanks Sue. Thanks Sue. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-54485195037269964212016-08-09T19:07:13.026-07:002016-08-09T19:07:13.026-07:00I'm childless by marriage. We conceived (for t...I'm childless by marriage. We conceived (for the second time) on our wedding night, i found out in the middle of working a sixteen hour shift. I couldn't stop throwing up... managed to find a 5 minute break to pee on a stick and call my husband who said he was unable to come meet me/pick me up from work because he didn't feel like it. <br /><br />I was the sole breadwinner as hubby did not work, and I realised that day that not only would he never support me and our future family financially, but he also could not support us emotionally. I would not be able to take time off work, so a child was out of the question. I had my second abortion and am still heartbroken every time my period comes. I am 37 now and it's too late for a family. We only have sex about once a year anyway (his choice) so even if I could conceive, well... it would have to be an immaculate conception. I was tricked and pushed quickly into marriage by his manipulative family, who did not tell me about his asperger's. This marriage will keep me forever alone and heartbroken. sandy cheekshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13742126376304153881noreply@blogger.com