tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post5577345635974632484..comments2023-07-21T06:19:27.125-07:00Comments on Childless by Marriage: Watch out for those baby picturesSue Fagalde Lickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-76353540193365551442012-09-21T14:41:51.262-07:002012-09-21T14:41:51.262-07:00Hi Anonymous Sept. 21,
Honestly, what would I do? ...Hi Anonymous Sept. 21,<br />Honestly, what would I do? From the benefit of hindsight, I'd stay with the man who is good to me and try to accept that my life is what it is.<br />I know how hard this is. I have three stepchildren, along with two stepchildren I never see and a step-great grandchild I've only seen on Facebook. The kids would say this is my fault, that I haven't asserted myself enough, but I have never felt welcome when I tried. <br />As for reversing the vasectomy, you don't know for sure that it won't work unless you ask, but the longer it's been the harder it is to do a successful reversal, or so I hear. <br />I'm glad we can be here for you. I'd like to hear how other readers would answer your question. <br />Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-54107828347183453532012-09-21T12:09:17.768-07:002012-09-21T12:09:17.768-07:00Yes, this happens to me way too often. My husband...Yes, this happens to me way too often. My husband has four children from a previous marriage. Now they are growing up and the first grandchild has arrived. There will be many more. It's heart break again and again when I see their family pictures and the constant reminder that I will never have grandchildren. They have a real grandmother of their own, I am just an extra in their life. <br /><br />I'm going to be 42 this year, he's 50. When we got together I was 34 and he said he was open to having more children. He had a vasectomy and would try to have it reversed. Now he tells me that isn't possible but he hasn't even tried. I love him. He is very good to me, but am very resentful about not being able to have a child of our own. I would have liked to have been able to make that choice. Not have it made for me because a previous spouse was a baby making machine and he thought she would get pregnant again so he "fixed" it so she couldn't. <br /><br />It is heartbreaking sometimes and I often wonder if this marriage can survive it. Meanwhile, my clock keeps ticking. My Mom had me at 43 so in my mind I keep thinking I have more time. So what do you do? Find another man that you may or may not love just for the hope of having a child? It's not an easy decision for any of us. Love this blog. It makes it easier to know that we are not alone out there. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-39787617021664980082012-09-19T07:28:50.335-07:002012-09-19T07:28:50.335-07:00yes and it's not just being excluded from the ...yes and it's not just being excluded from the "mom club" but often feels like basically being excluded from humanity. As long as children/teenagers are concerned i often feel that I am not meant to voice any kind of opinion at all, even though I've been a youth work expert for 15 years now. Elenanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-91010246867171713432012-09-13T17:36:23.878-07:002012-09-13T17:36:23.878-07:00Thanks, Anonymous, for two great referrals. Tsigdi...Thanks, Anonymous, for two great referrals. Tsigdinos' post is a delight, and I just joined Facebook's Childless not by choice group. See you there. <br />Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-64765989822137134192012-09-13T17:27:13.579-07:002012-09-13T17:27:13.579-07:00Re: my earlier post about the Facebook " Chil...Re: my earlier post about the Facebook " Childless Not By Choice " being a " closed group " ....NOT closed to new members by *any* means. Closed = members posts aren't public.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-21704649342522004712012-09-13T17:15:09.658-07:002012-09-13T17:15:09.658-07:00http://blog.silentsorority.com/2012/09/13/lets-pla...http://blog.silentsorority.com/2012/09/13/lets-play-diagnose-that-mom-neurosis.aspx<br />another gem, imho, from author Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos' blog...<br />" Let's Play Diagnose that "Mom" Neurosis "<br />(((((((Sue)))))))<br />Have you checked out the " Childless Not By Choice " Facebook page ? 60'ish member closed group...fyi.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com