tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post3571150877691926277..comments2023-07-21T06:19:27.125-07:00Comments on Childless by Marriage: Mothering My HusbandSue Fagalde Lickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-12788004660776084332011-01-18T08:31:45.588-08:002011-01-18T08:31:45.588-08:00No, i don't think so. Sue, you are going throu...No, i don't think so. Sue, you are going through a terrible personal ordeal with your husband's illness. I am so sorry. I think you need all the support you can get just for this difficult time in your life. Do you get it? could you get to be part of a self-help group or something like that for people who are looking after someone with Alzheimer's disease? I want to be honest, I hope it's not cruel: I think you are torturing yourself additionally and unnecessarily by linking this experience so much to your childlessness. You couldn't have spooned apple sauce into a 3-year-old with more success. It would have been all over as well. What might be part of the sadness and bitterness is that as a mother of a toddler, you would probably have taken a picture of that applesauce-smeared child and had everybody say "oh that's so cute" about it. But that's what's sad and bitter about your husbands condition - i think you know better than me. PLEASE look after yourself. Try to get some support for what is the biggest challenge in your daily life right now. I can understand how your feelings connect the illness of your husband with your childlessness. You are feeling left alone by everybody. It's really horrible, i can't even image (i managed to feel lonely over christmas just for being childless while i had my family around me all the time). What i'm trying to say is, try to improve the situation you are now in and don't make it harder by going in circles around all these problems which seem connected to you. <br />I'm sorry if this is too personal for a blog comment.... do with it what you want, publish, delete, hate me. I didn't mean to hurt you. Your blog was the first english speaking blog on childlessness i discovered and it was immensely helpful to me. I wish i could give you support in a better way. But the blog is just there to share our view and opinion on things. I hope it is a little bit helpful.Elenanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-30407011752191506012011-01-15T14:59:21.206-08:002011-01-15T14:59:21.206-08:00I had my cat and my mother on catheters within a w...I had my cat and my mother on catheters within a week of each other recently--I could explain it to my mother and she'd understand, but ten minutes later she would have forgotten and I'd have to explain it again. <br /><br />I do sometimes wonder if I'm missing out on important personal development by not having children--in particular, I regret not experiencing the kind of love a mother has for her children, which I am told is like nothing else. And just the ability to relate to children--that comes naturally to some people but not to me. And the ability to remain calm under provocation, which parenthood obviously doesn't teach everybody, but most people seem to manage OK or none of them would live to four.EscapeVelocitynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-4670835573390786852011-01-14T15:35:16.558-08:002011-01-14T15:35:16.558-08:00It is hard. Thank you for your support.It is hard. Thank you for your support.Sue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-13117923369611544462011-01-14T14:19:42.364-08:002011-01-14T14:19:42.364-08:00I am so sorry that you are going through this Sue....I am so sorry that you are going through this Sue.<br /><br />I cannot imagine how difficult this all is, especially with no one around to really help.<br /><br />Thinking of you...<br /><br />JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-43699191053481566942011-01-13T13:50:39.792-08:002011-01-13T13:50:39.792-08:00I did care for my grandma a few years ago while sh...I did care for my grandma a few years ago while she was in the hospital high in drugs and in pain. I was 20 back then, I have no little cousins or any small kids in my life, so I have no idea of maternal instinct, and I have never wanted to have children. I don't thin it has anything to do with whether you had children or not, it is only hard to care for someone you love so much when you see them suffer.Enrique y Bettyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03248541540960213890noreply@blogger.com