tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post2073564684412126359..comments2023-07-21T06:19:27.125-07:00Comments on Childless by Marriage: Where's the Nursery?Sue Fagalde Lickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-46741350596689328192011-07-26T18:18:58.845-07:002011-07-26T18:18:58.845-07:00KBW,
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's...KBW, <br />Thank you so much for sharing this. It's a tough situation, especially when you're married to an older man.<br />SueSue Fagalde Lickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14740379397806418651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4953607740696523736.post-21263346225267068542011-07-26T15:50:34.533-07:002011-07-26T15:50:34.533-07:00Coming to your blog years after you started it but...Coming to your blog years after you started it but I am so happy to find it! I decided to start reading it from the very beginning and here is where I am. So a little background - I am 37 married to a 58 yr old man whom I adore. We've been married for 5 years and he has two kids from his first marriage (23 and 28). I get along great with them. When we met each other 6 years ago, we very quickly had a frank conversation about kids or no kids. I told him I was 'on the fence', he said he was 98% sure about not having any more (and he has a vasectomy). At that time, I was 'on the fence' because I hadn't had a relationship healthy enough to consider bringing a child into this world. I was afraid of disaster. So I decided to choose love and marry him. Then of course, marrying him and being a pseudo-mom to his children changed everything. Now, at 37 and in the throes of trying to find a way out of this childless sorrow, I am living in fear that his children may have children before I do, and trying to discover an acceptable grey area somewhere between the horrible black and white. Now I know that there was some part of me that held on to that 2% and said "Well, if he loves me enough, if I can MAKE him love me enough, if I ever want a child, of course he'll want to have one with me. So much for living in an everything-works-out-in-the-movies world.<br /><br />So the reason I responded to this post in particular, is because I have been haunted by something similar to your 16-yr old plans. 3 months before I met my husband, I made a list called My Wish List and 10 Year Plan. On it I listed about 20 items having to do with a house, career, relationships, where I would live, spirituality etc...But nowhere on that list did I say something like - "I want three kids" I did mention something about 'when I have a family everyone will know how to sail...', but I HAVE a family, a huge family frankly. But no mention of babies or children at all. So I guess just like you, I've got almost everything that I wished for, and most importantly, what I forgot.KBWnoreply@blogger.com